Compassionately Driven Ramblings

I've been driving to work every day once again which I feel guilty about since I'm the only person in my car, but thankfully it's a reverse commute so I am not in the car for too long. I also get to sing as loud as I want since no one else is with me, so that's been boosting my mood tremendously lately. I drive to Providence once a week now for work, during which I have plenty of time to sing and think. I had a playlist on today inspired by Celine Dion (since my sister brought me to see Celine in a couple months ago, I haven't stopped listening to her. Thanks Amanda!), and the song Colors of the Wind came on from Pocahontas, and it hit me right in the feels. I never really took the time to consider the power in the meaning of the verses before, especially since the last time I heard that song was in middle or high school. Some of the lyrics from the verses are: "You think you own whatever land you land on The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim But I know every rock and tree and creature Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew"

Honestly, has there ever been a time when needing to hear this has become more pronounced? Listening to this song today literally made me tear up. I've been struggling a lot lately with some internal battles that I feel completely powerless over. There are a lot of other thoughts that weigh on me every day. I always wonder what my Dad would say today. I so desperately wish I could sit and talk with him about it, because he always had a way of eloquently expressing the importance in listening and trying to understand what you do not already understand. He was the most kind, open minded, humble, gracious, and least judgemental person I've ever known. I'm trying really hard on my own to understand some things, but I am hitting a wall and I am frustrated.

I am angry, fed up, and irritated that people are driven by their inherent need to only please themselves first while knowing others are suffering. Why is it so hard for people to not only consider what is in their own best interest, but in the best interest of EVERYBODY? And if that means sacrificing a little bit of your already comfortable lifestyle to just try and empathize with the struggles of someone else for a second, why not try it out? The worst that happens is you become uncomfortable and realize, "oh shit I have it good...". I completely and truly believe that we all can grow, learn, and evolve tremendously through struggle. Some people I know were born naturally amazing, humble, kind, generous, thoughtful, and demonstrate these characteristics on their own every day. I like to think that growing up I was one of those people, but I certainly didn't act like it. It took me getting knocked on my ass and getting shoved into a deep, dark, rock bottom when my Dad died to wake me the fuck up. The struggle - the climb to get out of that hole that life put me in - changed me to be who I am today. I know that when something like that happens, it can go one of many ways.

I think because my Dad was such a phenomenal person (I'm not just biased, ask anyone who knew him at all and they'd tell you the same thing), it made me want to try every day to be more like him. I've been trying to do that in all the ways that I can, while still being true to myself. Struggle, despair, and grief I think are some of the most powerful tools in building grit, humility, and compassion for others. Because sometimes, it takes getting knocked on your ass to know what all of that really means. Sometimes, it means seeing complete darkness deep down in the hole of despair to know that yes, in fact, there IS light in this world, and it is everywhere. And it can be seen in everyone, in their own unique way. And we need to do what we can to encourage that light to shine its brightest and not try to keep it out by building walls and blocking it out. We need to keep it beautifully diverse so we have opportunities to learn and grow from people who are different than ourselves.

This is not a political post. It's not intended to be, anyways. It's just unfortunately diverting down a road of questions that I have that are related to politics. I have so many questions that I really need more help in understanding how some people think, and why they think the way they do (Like HOW do some people seriously believe the New York Times is an illegitimate news source?). I don't think I can ask them here without causing a ruckus, but I so desperately need to say this: We all need to be kinder to each other. We all need to stop being so ignorant. We all need to LISTEN to the other person's opinion, even if it is one that you disagree with initially. You might surprise yourself and change your mind if you open your ears and LISTEN, especially to other people who are not like you. With that said, I am going to close this by quoting my friend Sam Friend, because she couldn't have said it any better. Follow her blog here. "Friends, I have no room for hate in my heart. This year will be difficult- PLEASE do not at any cost let politics divide us.

There is so much at stake. At the end of the day we need to love each other and respect that we may have differing opinions.

That being said, if your personal opinion is that people practicing different religions, from different countries, of different races, of different sexual orientations or gender identities are inherently bad or evil- You need to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror.

EVERYONE deserves to live as their authentic selves and no one deserves to be judged for their religion/race/gender/etc. If you have hate in your heart, ask yourself where that comes from and do everything you can to resolve it. Hate is learned. Unlearn it and begin to love again."